A little humour to lighten your survival
I've just been talking about this isolation challenge with the microwave and toaster while drinking coffee and all of us agreed that things are getting bad.
I didn't mention anything to the washing machine as she puts a different spin on everything. Certainly not to the fridge as he is acting cold and distant.
In the end, the iron calmed me down as she said everything will be fine; no situation is too pressing.
The vacuum was very unsympathetic and told me to just suck it up, but the fan was more optimistic and hoped it would all soon blow over!
The toilet looked a bit flushed when I asked its opinion and didn’t say anything, but the door knob told me to get a grip.
The front door said I was unhinged and so the curtains told me to... yes, you guessed it... pull myself together.
[Editor’s Note: We are told that the virus is especially a threat to those over 70, with underlying conditions. Does anyone know if a weakness for bad puns is one such condition?]
Escalating Threat Levels Around the World
According to a BBC Report from John Cleese, the English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent virus threat and have therefore raised their threat level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.” Soon, though, level may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross.”
The English have not been “A Bit Cross” since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. The virus has been re-categorized from “Tiresome” to “A Bloody Nuisance.” The last time the British issued a “Bloody Nuisance” warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.
The Scots have raised their threat level from “Pissed Off” to “Let's Get the Bastard.” They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.
Australia, meanwhile, has raised its alert level from “No worries” to “She'll be alright, Mate.” Two more escalation levels remain: “Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!” and “The barbie is cancelled.” So far, no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.
The Russians have said “It’s not us.”